


Cassette Tape and Vinyl

by saxotae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, kagehina and kurohina are just one line, no beta we die like men, oihina fucks around but its not serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24866176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saxotae/pseuds/saxotae
Summary: Atsumu looks at him as if he hangs the moon and Atsumu smiles at him as if he is the sun and Atsumu touches him as if he is his mother’s collection of ceramic china plates. Hinata wonders if he was narcissistic. He must have been because Atsumu didnt sing him words of love and affection back.OrHinata loves Atsumu and Atsumu loves Hinata. But Atsumu has a tedency to run away from love and Hinata finds comfort in other’s beds.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, slight kagehina - Relationship, slight kurohina, slight oihina - Relationship
Comments: 11
Kudos: 278





	Cassette Tape and Vinyl

**Author's Note:**

> Okay here we go. Hello! I wrote this at 4 in the morning on my phone and this is just me pouring my heart into my writing. I hope you enjoy anyway. Thanks !  
> Twitter : @xiewuxian

Love is a painful thing. It tempts you with promise of sweet nothings whispered into ears and arms that holds gently. It sits in a box with bubble wraps and fragile stamped all over its surface. Handle it roughly and it will shatter into pieces.

Hinata knows it. His first love had been volleyball. Volleyball didnt love him back. Hinata had first hand experience of being thrown into the ground and stomped all over until he is reduced to tiny shards. Hinata gets over it, he picks himself up and carefully glue himself back together. He is strong and nothing can get in his way of getting to the top. Eventually, volleyball learned to love him and he learned that not even breaking into pieces can take away his love.

Hinata knows love and he thought he knew Miya Atsumu too. Miya Atsumu dyes his hair piss blonde so people wont mistake him for Osamu, Miya Atsumu is afraid of tiny bigs not even the size of his fingernails, Miya Atsumu loves 3am cliche telenovela and Miya Atsumu looks at Hinata Shouyo as if he hangs the moon. 

Hinata took one look at his face and decided to pour his heart out to Miya Atsumu. Hinata sings him words of affection and love and closes his eyes waiting for Atsumu to say tell him he loves him back. He was so sure that Atsumu feels the same. Because Atsumu looks at him as if he hangs the moon and Atsumu smiles at him as if he is the sun and Atsumu touches him as if he is his mother’s collection of ceramic china plates. Hinata wonders if he was narcissistic. He must have been because Atsumu didnt sing him words of love and affection back.

Atsumu stood up and ran away and he leaves Hinata behind, never looking back as Hinata shatters once more. 

Atsumu pretends Hinata didn’t exist for 2 weeks. Hinata wrote apologies on his phone and was left on read. Hinata tried to pull him away but Atsumu manages to slip away. Atsumu was the wind that Hinata desperately tries to clutch in his hands but the wind is ever moving and stops for no one.

Eventually Hinata stops trying. His phone chimes with a text and as he looks at it, he wonders if this is the universe’s way of saying  _ sorry but here i’ll bring you someone to soothe your aching heart.  _

_ Oikawa Tooru: _ _ hey im in japan for a couple of days. Wanna fuck?  _

Hinata picks up the pieces by knocking back drinks and knocking on doors of handsome men like Oikawa Tooru. Oikawa Tooru looks at him and pulls him in, into the arms of lust. Their lips found each other in a familiar tangle of tongue and teeth and Hinata founds himself thinking of heated nights in Rio. Of sweaty bodies on top of each other and lips on his skin, tongues licking every crevice he has to offer and Hinata moans. 

“Feeling nostalgic?” Oikawa Tooru ask once they’re done. He is a beautiful sight under the moonlight and Hinata lays his head on his chest as Oikawa traces figure eights on his waist. He feels Brazil in Oikawa Tooru and as the universe promised, it soothed him.

“Yeah.” Oikawa Tooru pulls him up into another searing kiss and Hinata lets himself be eaten by the flames. He doesnt think of Miya Atsumu that night.

Hinata comes to practice the next day with hickeys on his neck. Atsumu looks at him and looks away.

He still doesn't say anything to Hinata.

——————-

“You lost him.” 

Atsumu pretends not to hear as he watches a butterfly flies around the sunflower, perching on it before a bee comes its way and the butterfly was forced to fly away, leaving the bee to suck on the sunflower selfishly by himself. 

Atsumu pathetically thinks about how similar the butterfly is to him. He doesn't need Sakusa to tell him of how he lost his sunflower to a bee.

“You’re a coward.” Sakusa sneers and Atsumu laughs in his face. 

“I know.” Atsumu says and he pretends the sight of the hickeys on Hinata’s neck doesn't hurt him. He doesn't stare when Inunaki slaps Hinata on the back and congratulates him on  _ getting some what a man you are Shouyo!  _ He doesnt laugh when Meian ask if Hinata fucked a vampire and Hinata laughs awkwardly. He doesn’t say anything at all. He ignored the feeling of eyes burning onto his back and continues to wipe the volleyball in his hands to a clean perfect ball with no grime in sight, much unlike himseld. 

Practice ended and he still doesnt say anything to Hinata. Instead he watches as Oikawa Tooru picks Hinata up and kisses him square on the lips before making eye contact with Atsumu.

_ This is what you lost, this is what you could have had.  _

Oikawa Tooru smirks at him one last time before he pulls Hinata away and outside and into the distance where Atsumu can't see them anymore.

_ You have no one to blame but yourself.  _ Atsumu reminds himself. He hears Adriah asking Bokuto about who the guy was and learns that  _ Oikawa Tooru, professional volleyball player in the Argentina team, a really good setter, may or may not be Hinata’s boyfriend.  _

He’s not. Because a couple of days later Atsumu had walked in on Kageyama Tobio and Shouyo making out in the middle of the gym’s hallway after their practice match had ended. Atsumu saw them grind into each other and turns around and walks away. 

_ You have no one to blame but yourself.  _ Atsumu chants inside his head. His heart stings with betrayal and hurt and he smacks himself in the face with his right hand, reminding himself that he is the one who pushed hinata away when all Hinata wanted was to be pulled in.

Atsumu calls Osamu.

Osamu listens as Atsumu cries and sobs into the telephone and hears Atsumu chants  _ I have no one to blame but myself  _ over and over again.

Osamu calls him a coward and a dumbass and ask him why he won’t let himself be happy. Atsumu says that he is a broken cassette and he cant be played anymore because his strips are pulled and left to hang out of him like a spilled gut and all he can let out is ugly sounds that doesn't suit Hinata because Hinata deserves perfection and perfection only. Hinata deserves a vinyl played on the turntable that lets out sounds as beautiful as a siren’s call.

Osamu tells him Hinata has a pencil and doesnt own a turntable but a cassette player.

The next day Atsumu waits for Hinata on his doorstep and Hinata shows up with Bokuto’s bestfriend, Kuroo Tetsurou latched onto his neck. 

They make eye contact and Atsumu flushes red before stumbling away, excusing himself from the scene and knocks on Bokuto’s door.

“Your bestfriend is fucking Hinata.” Atsumu mumbles and Bokuto lets him in, muttering apologies for things he did not do and Atsumu shushes him up by asking for alcohol.

“It’s not your fault,” Atsumu says as he drinks glass after glass of vodka, “it’s mine.” 

Bokuto doesn't say anything but Atsumu sees him grabs his phone and text under the table.

“If its any consolation,” Bokuto says, “its just a one night stand.” 

Atsumu says thanks and knocks back alcohol till he passes out on Bokuto’s ugly piss coloured sofa, the same shade as his hair. 

Hinata stops him a few days later, his eyes grim and his mouth pressed into an unhappy line. This time Atsumu doesnt run.

Hinata ask him questions Atsumu knows Hinata already has the answer too.

_ Do you love me? _

_ Yes. _

_ Do you want to be with me? _

_ Yes. _

And then Hinata ask the questions he doesnt know the answer to.

_ Why did you run? _

_ I was afraid. _

_ Of what? _

_ Of not being enough for you.  _

Hinata calls him an idiot and pulls him into a kiss. Atsumu cries and ask for forgiveness and sings words of affection and love to Hinata. Hinata fell into Atsumu’s arms and they fell into Hinata’s bed. Later, after they became one and connected, Atsumu wondered why he had been so worried. Because being with Hinata felt right, being with Hinata felt like coming home, and Atsumu knows home is where he can be himself and still be accepted and loved. 

He doesn’t have to be enough. He just have to be himself.

_ I love you because you’re you.  _ Hinata whispered to him  _ I love you because you’re Miya Atsumu. _

Hinata kisses him gentle and sweet and Atsumu feels his chest overflowing with love and he desperately tries to push it back in and stop it from spilling out but then Hinata takes his hand and nuzzles his palm like a cat searching for warmth and Atsumu remembers that he doesnt have to stop it anymore, because Hinata is His and he is Hinata’s and Hinata’s chest is also overflowing with love for Atsumu and together they make an Ocean. Its wide and free and strong and Atsumu wont have to worry about his love overwhelming Hinata because the ocean can never be full and Hinata loves him just as much.

_ I don't need perfect,  _ Hinata says as he shoves the pencil into the broken cassette and pulls the tape back into place. It sounds a little ugly and broken still but Hinata pulls him by the hands and twirls him around into a dance, laughing as bright as the bells and the sun and Atsumu feels himself grinning as they danced to the sound of the broken cassette played on the equally as broken cassette player,  _ I just need you. _

**Author's Note:**

> Shshshhs i know there were lots of grammar mistakes there and a lot of inconsistency. I wrote this on a whim and literally just wrote what my mind and heart tells me to write. This was the outcome shshha. Its incredibly self indulgent. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and i do appreciate kudos. My twitter is @xiewuxian . Feel free to scream about Haikyuu and other animes with me. <3


End file.
